Are You “Too Much”
A fear that I hear a lot from women is this feeling that they are “too much”. Whether it’s not feminine enough, too emotional, too independent, too opinionated. Whatever their “too much” is, there’s a common limiting belief that this makes their dating life more difficult because men are not interested because of this. And in order to find a partner who wants to settle down with them, they need to be more feminine, more chill, more agreeable. Essentially they need to become less aka a more watered down version of themselves. So what ends up happening is that a lot of women try to be someone that they are not. Instead of being themselves, they try to be the person they think men want to date. And that is a massive problem. This idea that you are “too much” to find a partner is not true.
So what are three truths about being “too much”?
The idea that you are “too much” is not a universal truth - The reality is, there are plenty of women out there who could be labeled as “too much” that have found a partner that accepts them and loves them exactly as they are. This proves that this idea is not a fact but is a limiting belief. A belief you’ve created about yourself in order to protect you. And while it might be protecting you from disappointment or hurt, it’s actually keeping you small and preventing you from what you truly want. Don’t let this feeling become a fact.
The right person will like you for you - At the end of the day, you want to be yourself. And the right person will appreciate the qualities that make up who you are. They won’t want to change you or water you down. The traits that make up who you are should be loved and accepted by the person you end up with. Anyone who doesn’t like those sides of you, isn’t the right person for you.
Acting like someone you’re not, will lead to being with the wrong person - Let’s say you try to change who you are in order to fit a certain mold. Then you’re not being authentically you when you go on dates. So if someone decides they like you, they are not really liking the real you. And then you find yourself in a relationship with the wrong person. Trust me, that won’t lead to long term happiness because how can you be in a healthy relationship where you can’t truly be yourself.
This idea of women being too much or not enough is an antiquated way of thinking. Women who are independent, in touch with their emotions, have an opinion, are quirky and funny - does not equal too much or harder to love. That belief stems from the old fashioned image of a partnership and generic gender roles of how a woman “should” act in a marriage. Those gender roles have changed over the years as women have gained more rights and more autonomy. This is no longer the image that women need to fit into. We can be whoever we want to be and still find love. So don’t put those limits or constraints on yourself. Allow someone in to see the real you. And if they don’t like what they see, then they are not your person.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
