How To Trust Your Gut
A term you hear a lot in the dating space is “trust your gut”. And while I think this is one of the most important things you need to do while dating, I also know it’s a difficult concept to fully understand and accomplish. So let’s start with, what does trusting your gut actually mean? This idea means you are able to rely on your instincts, intuition or signs from your body, to make a decision or to navigate a situation. It’s about listening to your inner voice and the subtle feelings that come up for you rather than depending on just logic or advice. However, it’s important to distinguish intuition from fear or anxiety.
So why is it important to trust your gut when you’re single? Being able to listen to what your instincts and body are telling you, can help in every stage of dating. On a larger scale, it allows you to trust when someone is the right person for you. Choosing your long term partner should not just be based on a checklist of need to have’s and nice to have’s. You also need to have a gut feeling that this is your person. That gut feeling is less based on the logic of a checklist and more so rooted in how you feel when you’re with them and how your body or mind reacts to them. It can also help you decide when it’s the right time to end a relationship, whether it’s a situationship or something long term. On a smaller scale, trusting your gut allows you to determine if you should go on the second date or if you even like the person you’re casually dating. So many decisions you make as you date are rooted in trusting your gut.
Now that you know what it means and why it’s important, how do you trust your gut?
Trial and error - Ultimately, trusting your gut takes practice. There are going to be times where you know that you don’t really want to go on the third date but you go anyway. At the end of the date, you know that you should have listened to that instinct. But that’s not a waste of time. That experience is a way to reinforce that your gut was right and you should have listened to it. Not listening to your gut is what leads you to trusting it. You need to go through times when you don’t listen, in order to strengthen that muscle.
Past experiences - Think about a time when you didn’t trust your gut and you wish you had. Think about a time when you did trust your gut and things went wrong - hint: this one will be hard to think of. Pulling from your past experiences and how things unfolded, will allow you to see behaviors and patterns as well as examples when you should have listened to your gut or when you did and things worked out.
Align with your body - Doing things like meditating or centering yourself is a way to allow your intuition to come through. Asking yourself questions like how you feel with this person vs how you want to feel with your person. Let yourself be in your body and analyze how you feel when you ask yourself those questions and when you think about that person. You’ll see that your body will give you the answers you’re looking for.
Trusting your gut takes time and practice. It’s something you are constantly learning to navigate and lean into, especially when it comes to dating. You can create all the lists and someone can check all of the boxes but if your body and intuition says no then they are not your person. Meeting your person should be a full body yes. And learning to trust your intuition as you date different people, will only lead you directly to your person.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
